Friday, April 15, 2005

Time and time again...


Days have been running too fast (or too slowly, depends how you look at it), and sometimes I feel stretched a bit too thin. It’s hard to find the time to please everyone you love, to do what you can’t avoid doing and to devote yourself to what really passions you. It’s walking a thin line, stretching every possible way not to hurt or neglect anyone, and sometimes it’s almost impossible, no matter how you try. No matter how much you stretch and swerve, you are still going to fail at some point. The feeling is that of trying to crawl over a very thin spider web, knowing it will not hold your weight at some point, no matter how hard you try.

But the greatest feeling comes when you can pause for a moment at the end of the day, pick yourself up, catch your breath, and realize you did your best; when you know you can rise again tomorrow, proud and without remorse, and that you still have the strength and the will to go on, and that your steps will lead you somewhere.
And that even if they don't, the journey will be worthy...

as the sun comes up, as the moon
goes down
these heavy notions creep around
it makes me think
long ago I was brought into
this life a little lamb
a little lamb
courageous, stumbling
fearless was my middle name.
but somewhere there I
lost my way
everyone walks the same
expecting me to step
the narrow path they've laid
they claim to
walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.

say "keep within the boundaries if you want
to play."
say "contradiction only makes it harder."
how can I be
what I want to be?
when all I want to do is strip away
these stilled constraints
and crush this charade
shred this sad masquerade
I don't need no persuading
I'll trip, fall, pick myself up and
walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.

if I have a bag of rocks to carry as I go
I just want to hold my head up high
I don't care what I have to step over
I'm prepared to look you in the eye
look me in the eye
and if you see familiarity
then celebrate the contradiction
help me when I fall to
walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.
walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high

- Michael Stipe

Into starlight.

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